Espresso Flavor, Not Labor

Let us do the work for you

Origin of the universe complicated! - What makes or breaks an espresso shot? - MORE
String Theory:Primer -

In the never ending quest to understand the basic fundamentals of the universe, something called String Theory popped up decades ago.

Just as we experience a three dimensional reality of width-X-height-X-depth with a 4th dimension of time  added,  a height-X-width-X-depth-X-time, so it is theorized that there are 7 more  dimensions making a :

No matter how much of a headache you get attempting to understand this (as all physicists get), you can feel the complexity of such a system, a complexity that is approximated by Espresso.

Next we deal with what those 11 Espresso dimensions.

When we get done you should appreciate what SwampSlurry provides, a reduction of that complexity to a stellar product for your home, business or event.

Has the Coffee bubble burst? - - MORE
Signs of the coffee-pocalypse... -

There are always warning signs before an earthquake. People don't often perceive the warning signs but anecdotal evidence suggests that animals often get a sense that something is wrong.

Only after the fact do humans initiate a post-mortem to see the signs that were available.

In 2000, the Brooklyn Lyceum (a theater/ gym/cafe outside the then reaches of gentrification, Park Slope, and safety) had a coffee shop. There was not much to it, just some grind in packets, not even beans, from a local roaster, Farinon, on Dean Street near 5th Avenue. The beans were fine for what was presented at the Lyceum cafe, a cup of joe.

The customers ranged the full gamut, stockbrokers to electricians to lawyers to artists to musicians to housewives to to actors to teachers.

In casual conversation with the roaster, we learned that Farinon supplied some high-end shops in Manhattan and did a booming business in the Berkshires.

Brooklyn, not so much. We asked why and the grumbled response was "Brooklyn knows the price of everything and the value of nothing."

Some 15 years later, Brooklyn has come full circle.

Now home to the priciest of micro-artisanal-organic options, Brooklyn is about to see a culling of more coffees than existed in Brooklyn in 2000. Many roasters will remain, but the quality will be ever on the rise. In the end, it is a necessary culling as there are many coffee proprietors just going through the motions.

Here is how we see it playing out.

A Better Mousetrap - When technology is overkill.... - MORE
SHORT STORY: -, a focused attack on the production, presentation and selling of espresso as Americano, as Latte, as Cappuccino, with Chocolate and as Ice Cream.

Espressos are like fine wine with an almost infinite set of variations. Each and every fine roast has a complexity and depth that Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts patrons are missing out on.

SwampSlurry will eventually have a wide variety of Roaster beans ground and pulled and immediately quick frozen to lock in better flavor than all but the savviest baristas can produce with their golden anchor of an espresso machine.

Quite possibly right next to a Starbucks, no less. This should be interesting.

Some things to note.

  • We will be producing our product in two locations to start:
    • A commercial kitchen in Maine.
    • Our super-secret off the grid as much as possible locale in NYC where we seek to generate all the power we will use without a hookup to Con-Ed.
  • We will be on the road, so to speak, at markets and such till we open our Brick and Mortar in the Gowanus neighborhood of Brooklyn.
  • Roaster names will be anonymous to the public identified only with a three digit number, some basic roast info and highlight descriptors.
  • Our outreach on the road will collect, collate and summarize customer feedback for each roaster who is officially part of the process/program.
  • We will seek to offer retail delivery in NYC,Philly and Boston.
  • We will send finished product to roasters/cafes for use at their facilities or for them to sell themselves.
  • We will send finished product (single roasters and variety packs) nationwide.
  • We will offer up a spot on our off-the-grid roastery for select roasters. Imagine a completely green roasting process!
How does your roast stack up? - Americano, Latte, Cappuccino, Ice Cream - MORE
Espresso is like fine wine... -

Complexity and depth make for transcendent tastes so long as you don't use bad beans, over-roast or drown the shot.

We are seeking roasts to review for possible wholesale pre-processing for use in your roastery/coffee shop/cafe, and, possibly, for inclusion in our espresso cellar of sorts brick and mortar locations (first one looks to be in Brooklyn, NY) as well as in our roadshow.

If you want a roast in the mix, we need to get some of it and run it through the paces at our facility.

The fresh draws, flash frozen and ice cream versions will be tasted and reviewed by some trusted connoisseurs.

We will need a 5lb bag of your espresso roast from you to start and a $300 fee. The application form is HERE.

We will dial it in and process the beans in our manual espresso way (while documenting what it took to get the best out of your roast) and mail back to you frozen and ice cream samples.

We will also send you some notes and commentary on our findings.

If you like what we can do with your roast, we hope you will consider us for pre-processing.

If we decide to become a wholesale purchaser of your roast, we will regularly conduct sampling of the roast, collect reviews, collate the results and report back to you what our public thinks of the roast.

In addition, if you appreciate the quality of the sample and we agree and we have a slot available, maybe you can be a permanent fixture in a brick and mortar store as well as our roadshow, both of which will regularly have your roast as well as an ice cream based on the roast available.

For more on being a permanent fixture in a brick and mortar location as well as in the roadshow, more information is available HERE.

Seeking quality and variety from a veritable sea of roasters. - Where nuance (and not sour/bitter/over-roasting) is King!! - MORE
Mission -

SwampSlurry is seeking a Lead Espresso Roaster (LER) and Rotating Alternative Roasters(RAR) for our possible future Park Slope / Gowanus Espresso location and for the Espresso Express Rover(EER).

Feedback from customer surveys through 40+/- road events a year until we solidify on brick and mortar locations.

Popping up all over the place ? - Practice probably makes perfect, but necessity is the mother of invention! - MORE
A little background. -

In investigating for some pretty successful markets in the Brooklyn market boom from 2008-2014 (some with 100+ vendors), we became, well, obsessive over understanding what went into some of the foodstuffs that were around.

From the seminal bacon marmalade to ramp butter to, oh my, the cheeses to many new school purveyors of jam to ice cream, the rejection was quite profound of the mass-produced, least cost, whatever degrading quality of product you can get by on by brand name alone as the brand devolves in order to keep feeding the stockholders a quarterly dividend product.

Brooklyn had arrived, again, on cue in a nearly 50-year cycle. She arrived on the backs of a renewed attention to detail, an artisanal attention.

What part will we play in the new Brooklyn, or, for that matter, the new everywhere thrust upon us?

We start with espresso, that product we never had in our markets because we had, in addition to the occasional markets, a fulltime coffee shop.

We used a local roaster, Farinon.

We used Cafe Darte of Seattle.

We used Raos of Mass.

We used La Colombe.

We used Lavazza.

We used Intelligentsia

A Gowanus Crossroads and a Brooklyn Nexus - What along , strange trip it has been ... - MORE
Up the stairs to the right... -

4th and President is a crossroads of old and new in Gowanus and Brooklyn.

Historic (and just plain old) buildings are met at the borders of the blocks by a wall of 12 story buildings lining the eventual canyon of 4th Avenue.

One holdout is Public Bath #7 (aka The Brooklyn Lyceum).

The Lyceum is currently a gym but will, in the not too distant future, return to the central town square role it held for nearly two decades.

In the photo and up the steps is the tiny portion of the Lyceum that will hold SwampSlurry when they set up camp and begin serving the commuters like the old Lyceum cafe did for so long.

As soon as SwampSlurry holds court, it will prepare to be joined by Pizza, Ice Cream and Beer.

Stay tuned as we learn how soon we will set up permanent camp.

Learn from coffee industry mistakes! - Simple rules to steller Espresso - MORE
Things we know... -

Many variables must be continuously monitored and  controlled to ensure a great shot.

One thing we learned is that the failure along the lines of any one variable results in shots of espresso that are just meh and require much sweetener and much dilution (milk/water) to correct for the failure of that one variable.

In the end, we realized that a consistently pulled shot, when frozen immediately and counter to prevailing theory, allows for a tremendous taste to be more consistently provided.

The variables (at least the ones we are willing to tell you) we seek to control:

  1. Good beans
  2. Two shot volume of espresso beans. 
  3. Grind such that clumping occurs but quickly collapses after clumping.
  4. Consistent hot water temperature.
  5. Seconds after contact with water without pressure (ensures that the top layer is evenly saturated)...
  6. push through for a double shot into a 2 oz jar.

That is all there is to it, save for the experienced eye to tune the process almost shot to shot.

By our estimate, a hundred hours of pulling shots this way will make you a pro. 

This process also solves the pull time problem for a coffee shop who is swamped with business.

Simply queue up some of these frozen jars a few minutes in advance in hot water and you can just unscrew the cap and combine the espresso elixer with boiling hot water and have an Americano as quick as pouring a cup of coffee.

Our way is likely to produce a better Americanos and better latte than your machine / barista  combo will.

Note that the espresso shots are still better done by your staff as the crema is not preserved with this method, although the taste is.

A feat of engineering! - Head and shoulders above the other manual espresso machines! - MORE
Good setup. -

A decent burr grinder, a source of hot water and the ROK make for a good start.

This is doable but a management nightmare as the water temp will be hard to manage.

P.S. We gave up on Intelligentsia when they were acquired by the behemoth corporation.

What SwampSlurry can do for you. - Flavor, not labor. - MORE
Not enough time on your hands? -


  • Is your cafe too busy at times?
  • Would your customers prefer a quick americano to a brewed coffee?  Or a latte quickly?
  • Not enough counter Space?
  • Need downtime for espresso machine maintenance?
  • Rather spend your time crafting the milk?
  • Want to pop up at markets to highlight your brand?


  • Have better things to do than source beans, grind beans and clean/fine tune a home-espresso machine?
  • Want a good americano or latte in the morning?
  • Want to have better than Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts?
  • Don't want to get a specialty grinder? 

When it becomes obvious we can do more with less... - We should, Dammit. Talk to us about our upcoming Green Roastery! - MORE
Carbon Neutral Roasting? -

If we host one of your roasts, consider pop-up, off the grid, roasting with us.

One-eth by sun...

Two-eth by water...

Three-eth by wind...

A holy trinity of energy.

MORE INFO: When we close the deal.

Reducing money friction since ... - Putting choice back into the equation. - MORE
Everyone is doing it, but no one is getting it right! -

Blockchain is the freedom from centralized authority with all the risks and benefits that may entail.

With a proper implementation of Blockchain, the ease of moving small amounts of money should become almost painless.

By painless, we mean the fees go as little as possible into the non-local financing corp's hands.

In physics terms, we want to reduce the coefficient of friction for moving money.

In more simple terms, once you get the transfer of money (value) ball rolling, it moves along with less effort than it took to get it rolling.

when espresso is the need ... - Swaslu provides the speed! - MORE
Waiting since the Permian ... -

for a reason to get out of the muck.

Swampslurry ( is that reason.

Where evolution failed us, your trilobites overlords, science and taste buds lets you nouveau upstart species enjoy life more than we did at the bottom of a mucky ocean eating all we bumped into until we developed the first eyes. Yes, the food tasted so bad we developed these crazy multi-lens eyes to avoid things that like , well, scum.

Think FEED before FIGHT or FLEE.

Born in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy when power was at a minimum, the SwampSlurry process extracts the all it can, far more than the local super-barista can hope to pull in a busy shop with far too many variables to manage the process in any meaningful way.

SwampSlury hones in on dozens of roasts, process the roasts into shots and then flash freezes them for later use preserving the vital taste characteristics for later use whether that use is at home, in cafes and restaurants, or on the road at markets and fares.

Swaslu is the roadshow.

Throw your roaster hat into the ring?

Widespread customer feedback, exposure at markets and fairs, quality wholesale pre-processing for your espresso and a NYC presence!

More info HERE.

Coffee Feeds we appreciate


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